So Much to Learn (original)

posted by Tika on 05 Feb 2010

Rejected

NEW TOBYMAC CD COMING OUT!!! I'm so excited!!! :DDDD
(too bad my iPod is so full.. I already have more than the limit of 350 songs! D:)

Let's be real here. Getting rejected is the worst. Okay, maybe not the worst, but it still smarts. Whether it be rejection from the school play auditions, or by the store manager when applying for a new job, or even by the boy that you've been mad-crushing on, rejection makes you feel like the bottom of your world just dropped out. Low self-esteem anyone? I thought 2010 was gonna be a year full of opportunities to make something of myself, to throw myself out there and make a name. But so far it's just been full of rejections. It seems like everything I dedicate my time and effort to just ends in disappointment. I spent a couple of days crying, trying to sort things out. I wondered, what am I doing with my life? Everything I try ends in failure, so why should I even bother? I felt foolish. I felt stupid. But mostly I felt down. Really down.
So I prayed to God, asking Him to show me a sign, or just to please give me something that could show me what to do. But try as I might, I heard nothing. One day I just locked the door and sat down on my bed, tears getting ready to fall any moment, and flipped open my Bible.

The thought of my pain, my
homelessness, is bitter
poison.
I think of it constantly, and
my spirit is depressed.
Yet hope returns when I
remember this one thing:
The Lord's unfailing love and
mercy still continue,
Fresh as the morning, as sure
as the sunrise.
The Lord is all I have, and so
in Him I put my hope.
-Lamentation 3: 19-24

God loved me. Loves me! Forever! God loves you too! Even if your special crush doesn't like you back, even if your plans fail and everything you hoped and dreamed for comes crashing down, even if your whole life gets turned around, God is always there for you, as sure as the sunrise every morning.

What am I doing with my life? Well I know what I want to be doing. Something for God. I'm tired of just sitting here talking about it, writing songs about it... I wanna do SOMETHING. It's okay if I've gotten rejected by the people and things of the world because God will never reject me. He will always be there for me. And just because I've been rejected before doesn't mean I shouldn't keep putting myself out there and trying new things (not to mention I forgot to count the many many blessings I have, such as a family who loves me very much). I'll admit it, I tried out for the school musical and didn't make it past auditions. But that doesn't mean I should stop writing music or stop trying. I want to use my music to serve God, to worship God, to show the world that God is love and though we may not understand what He's doing or why He's doing it, He's still God, the God I serve and will continue to serve for the rest of my life. God is my everything. He's my purpose. He's my life.

Time to get into action.

posted by Tika on 03 Feb 2010

Slow it down

Just gotta learn to take things easy, let go, and let life go on. What happens, happens, and while I don't wanna sit down and watch as the world crumbles, I just have to learn to understand that not everything is as important as it seems at the moment. So where are the things that really matter?

posted by Tika on 20 Jan 2010

Politically Correct

Happy New Year everyone!! I love looking at the date on my computer and seeing those wonderful numbers, 1/1/2010. :D I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas break, because school starts up in less than a week!! WHY. Wow I am soo lazy, I can't even believe myself sometimes. First resolution, stop being lazy! lol. Like that's gonna happen ;) BTW this year I am hoping to get my life back on track! Fo' serious, I need to stop being lazy, stop procrastinating my homework and chores... start praying A LOT MORE, exercising, eating healthier (it seems my procrastinating habits are linked to my junk food habits haha), etc. Oh, and this year I'm going to make a CD!! :D My "band" already has a couple of original songs worked out. The term "band" is in quotations because we have yet to name ourselves. But don't worry, we're working on it. I'm super excited!!

Uggghhhh I am SOOO SORE right now!! I really wanted to exercise but it was too cold outside to go running (well, my excuse was that I would slip on the ice... but if I was on the track team I probably would have gone out there into that freezing sadness). So I did like 200 jumping jacks and pretty much jumped around for 20 minutes without stretching. I can't even walk straight O_O my calf muscles ahhhhhh!!!! And then later on in the afternoon I ventured outside to help a friend film a zombie movie, but not enough people showed up so we didn't really get anything done. I came home so cold that it took an hour to warm up! Against my better judgment I went back out for filming today and it was even colder than yesterday!!! But we got a lot done and I was given the wonderful opportunity to drag myself through mud and then get punched in the face! It's been like 2 hours since I got home and I am still very cold :( But that's okay.

Anyway, I had a plan to increase the content of the site by adding daily devotionals. I try to read my Bible everyday and I always highlight a bunch of verses, so I thought it would be good to put those verses up on the site and write a little bit about them. Everyday. I'm not sure if that's realistic, but it would be pretty awesome if I did... I just don't know whether I would put them on the front page or on a separate section of the site (because a blog a day would really clog up my cutenews). We'll see. I still think it's a good idea but I need to think about how I am going to set it up. STOP MAKING EXCUSES TIKA. *afraid* Where did that voice come from??

Politcally Correct

So what do you guys think about being 'politically correct'? Americans have been given the freedom of religion, but we've also been given the separation of church and state. So when you are in a position of power, should you try to remain a neutral religion to the public eye or should you express it? I'm not sure what religion President Obama is, but he has been very careful to shy away from Christianity. There are some people who are very upset with the Christmas speech he gave to some kids on TV, believing that his speech really made Christianity seem unimportant to the Christmas holiday. I mean, the message he was giving was good and moralistic etc., but he kinda messed up the true meaning of Jesus' birth and the meaning behind the visitation of the three wise men. I also heard that Obama declared the U.S. was not a Christian nation. Well I mean, if we have freedom of religion we can't really say we are a Christian nation. Or can we? Does freedom of religion mean that government officials must remain completely neutral to the public? There is a separation of church and state, but doesn't that pertain to remaining a democracy and not a theocracy run by government officials? Is it possible we could be a Christian nation founded on Christianity BUT with un-persecuted people of different religions? I don't know. I want to say if you are a Christian you should say you are a Christian and say Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays etc. But is that fair to other religions? If I were a Muslim I don't know how I would feel about having a Christian president. Maybe I wouldn't care. But then again, freedom of speech right? Freedom of religion. The president is allowed to have freedom of religion too! So where do we cross the line with being too 'politically correct'? Are we allowed to sing about Jesus on a national TV program like American Idol without offending people (I think Carrie Underwood did, actually)? Should we even be afraid of offending people or do people not care? Wow I feel like this whole blog is a bunch of questions. I guess I'm thinking it's okay to express your religion, even when in a government position, because the truth is, most people are tolerant enough not to care.

I just had an epiphany.

We are so concerned with being politically correct that we become intolerant to every religion because we are afraid of intolerance in the public. We've got it all backwards! Freedom of religion is supposed to let everyone, no matter who they are, express their religion freely without intolerance or persecution by a group of people or the public. Some people are so afraid of displeasing the public that they forget that they have freedom of religion too. The public is supposed to respect your religion and remain tolerant. (and when I say expressing religion, I mean on a reasonable level.. not rubbing it in the faces of others). I don't know if Obama is Christian, but if he is, he shouldn't have to hide it. Politics have messed everything up. I realize that he represents America, but there are so many voices in America it is impossible to fully represent us all. And trying to represent all of us just ends up being vague and meaningless. At least that's what I'd like to believe. What do you guys think?

Sometimes I don't post blogs because I'm afraid they're too controversial and I don't want to lead people astray. But I don't have all the answers, no one really does... and there's an unfortunate misconception that Christians are super holy people with no problems (well in some cases at least). Everyone has problems. Everyone has doubts. So I guess I'm just gonna post this blog and more blogs like it over 2010.

posted by Tika on 01 Jan 2010