Rejected

NEW TOBYMAC CD COMING OUT!!! I'm so excited!!! :DDDD
(too bad my iPod is so full.. I already have more than the limit of 350 songs! D:)

Let's be real here. Getting rejected is the worst. Okay, maybe not the worst, but it still smarts. Whether it be rejection from the school play auditions, or by the store manager when applying for a new job, or even by the boy that you've been mad-crushing on, rejection makes you feel like the bottom of your world just dropped out. Low self-esteem anyone? I thought 2010 was gonna be a year full of opportunities to make something of myself, to throw myself out there and make a name. But so far it's just been full of rejections. It seems like everything I dedicate my time and effort to just ends in disappointment. I spent a couple of days crying, trying to sort things out. I wondered, what am I doing with my life? Everything I try ends in failure, so why should I even bother? I felt foolish. I felt stupid. But mostly I felt down. Really down.
So I prayed to God, asking Him to show me a sign, or just to please give me something that could show me what to do. But try as I might, I heard nothing. One day I just locked the door and sat down on my bed, tears getting ready to fall any moment, and flipped open my Bible.

The thought of my pain, my
homelessness, is bitter
poison.
I think of it constantly, and
my spirit is depressed.
Yet hope returns when I
remember this one thing:
The Lord's unfailing love and
mercy still continue,
Fresh as the morning, as sure
as the sunrise.
The Lord is all I have, and so
in Him I put my hope.
-Lamentation 3: 19-24

God loved me. Loves me! Forever! God loves you too! Even if your special crush doesn't like you back, even if your plans fail and everything you hoped and dreamed for comes crashing down, even if your whole life gets turned around, God is always there for you, as sure as the sunrise every morning.

What am I doing with my life? Well I know what I want to be doing. Something for God. I'm tired of just sitting here talking about it, writing songs about it... I wanna do SOMETHING. It's okay if I've gotten rejected by the people and things of the world because God will never reject me. He will always be there for me. And just because I've been rejected before doesn't mean I shouldn't keep putting myself out there and trying new things (not to mention I forgot to count the many many blessings I have, such as a family who loves me very much). I'll admit it, I tried out for the school musical and didn't make it past auditions. But that doesn't mean I should stop writing music or stop trying. I want to use my music to serve God, to worship God, to show the world that God is love and though we may not understand what He's doing or why He's doing it, He's still God, the God I serve and will continue to serve for the rest of my life. God is my everything. He's my purpose. He's my life.

Time to get into action.

5 comments

Tika posted on 03 Feb 2010

by Some Guy Named Josh @ 10 Feb 2010 08:32 am

Don't worry "Tika"! I will get our TobyMac CDs ASAP! (as soon as this blizzard stops...)

by mailbox8817 @ 06 Feb 2010 11:08 pm

by Kittycookie @ 05 Feb 2010 03:25 am

At least you CAN write songs for the lord. Every time I try to write something for him, it seems that it never turns out well or I feel like I got things all wrong.

by Lyn @ 04 Feb 2010 10:24 pm

I love TobyMac!! I first listened to him on the yellow wow worship cd, Phenomenon was the song, and I was hooked ever since! Isn't that amazing how we are shown (rather bluntly, sometimes) why we should always have faith in God?

This may seem odd, but I was going through some things this week, and then I stumble upon your site, and when you post this... thank you.

Take care.

by Lily @ 03 Feb 2010 06:49 pm

Don't worry Tika-chan!~
I LURVES YOU.

Usually music picks me up, try "Something Good Can Work" by Two Door Cinema Club. It rocks :D

I usually find life confusing but with positive thinking and trying new things leads to new paths that makes life interesting and enjoyable :3

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust noone but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe